Three Good Things

Oh man...

so I know its been a couple days or years since I last posted on here.

And I really feel like I've let the blog world down.

But I feel like if I did post on here earlier on it would have been nothing but depressing.

You see..I am in a season of my life where I am a failure.

And a loser.

And really the only reason that I am okay with opening my eyes in the morning is

 because if I didn't

I would let down the two most important people in my life:

1. God

2. My Mama

It would really just crush God to not hear my whiny but well phrased prayers everyday.

And don't even get me started on my mama.

She whines if I leave for a weekend.

"Legggssss....I miss your face! When you coming home?"

"Leggggggssss! Its so quiet here with your awesome music and random dance moves."

I mean, she really does think I'm the cat's meow.

But I just feel like I am letting people down. 

I'm not in the position to help people like I love doing.

I feel like I'm the person people are helping.

Or that I really am such a HUGE inconvenience.

Because I really am.

Sigghhh enough with the sadness.

Hmmm...three good things off the top of my head right now about the life I am in:

1. Even though I grew up with a father that didn't know what love was, I now have a Father that has taught me about unconditional love 

and who thinks I am quite awesome. I'm still having problems

with unconditional love on other people's part 

because I'm just waiting for it to run out

but I pray everyday that

that will never happen and so far

love has not failed me.

 He has made me in his image 

and even though I argue daily with him saying,

 "Really? A size ten pants? I mean, I could really work a size 6 or 8."

Being vain is a challenge, one that I am slowly trying to overcome.

 Since I am a teenage girl that will probably happen when I am thirty :) over the hill and such...retired...

wrinkled...OLD!

2. I am blessed everyday with friends that love and care about me.

Being my friend is not easy.

I go through mood swings where I think everything is working out and its all smiles

and then I crash.

Tears, numbness, and all I want to do is go back 

and say I'm sorry so everything would be normal.

I fight the urge to go home everyday and my friends are the ones that

always bring me back from that edge.

They are my life and I will never be able to repay them for what they have done

for me.

3. Saturday...I experienced mac and cheese pizza.

That is just God's best creation right there.

Besides AC.

And men with blue eyes.

And all the Duhhhhh stuff.

But I mean, if you haven't tasted that pizza YOU HAVEN'T LIVED!

Get off the computer.

Call in sick.

Get some of that pizza

and then bring me a piece.

Because as my good ol' sweet mama would say,

"Honey, that right there has the ability to change a life."

And she does say that about food.

Quite often actually.

So it's past my bedtime and I am really tired. I have kind of a sunburn 

from playing catch with Mr. Byrd today.

Best part about tonight is that Madre doesn't know that I'm

home so I'll be a nice surprise for her when I get up :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxRQahH0cqA 

Believe*