Three Good Things

Oh man...

so I know its been a couple days or years since I last posted on here.

And I really feel like I've let the blog world down.

But I feel like if I did post on here earlier on it would have been nothing but depressing.

You see..I am in a season of my life where I am a failure.

And a loser.

And really the only reason that I am okay with opening my eyes in the morning is

 because if I didn't

I would let down the two most important people in my life:

1. God

2. My Mama

It would really just crush God to not hear my whiny but well phrased prayers everyday.

And don't even get me started on my mama.

She whines if I leave for a weekend.

"Legggssss....I miss your face! When you coming home?"

"Leggggggssss! Its so quiet here with your awesome music and random dance moves."

I mean, she really does think I'm the cat's meow.

But I just feel like I am letting people down. 

I'm not in the position to help people like I love doing.

I feel like I'm the person people are helping.

Or that I really am such a HUGE inconvenience.

Because I really am.

Sigghhh enough with the sadness.

Hmmm...three good things off the top of my head right now about the life I am in:

1. Even though I grew up with a father that didn't know what love was, I now have a Father that has taught me about unconditional love 

and who thinks I am quite awesome. I'm still having problems

with unconditional love on other people's part 

because I'm just waiting for it to run out

but I pray everyday that

that will never happen and so far

love has not failed me.

 He has made me in his image 

and even though I argue daily with him saying,

 "Really? A size ten pants? I mean, I could really work a size 6 or 8."

Being vain is a challenge, one that I am slowly trying to overcome.

 Since I am a teenage girl that will probably happen when I am thirty :) over the hill and such...retired...

wrinkled...OLD!

2. I am blessed everyday with friends that love and care about me.

Being my friend is not easy.

I go through mood swings where I think everything is working out and its all smiles

and then I crash.

Tears, numbness, and all I want to do is go back 

and say I'm sorry so everything would be normal.

I fight the urge to go home everyday and my friends are the ones that

always bring me back from that edge.

They are my life and I will never be able to repay them for what they have done

for me.

3. Saturday...I experienced mac and cheese pizza.

That is just God's best creation right there.

Besides AC.

And men with blue eyes.

And all the Duhhhhh stuff.

But I mean, if you haven't tasted that pizza YOU HAVEN'T LIVED!

Get off the computer.

Call in sick.

Get some of that pizza

and then bring me a piece.

Because as my good ol' sweet mama would say,

"Honey, that right there has the ability to change a life."

And she does say that about food.

Quite often actually.

So it's past my bedtime and I am really tired. I have kind of a sunburn 

from playing catch with Mr. Byrd today.

Best part about tonight is that Madre doesn't know that I'm

home so I'll be a nice surprise for her when I get up :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxRQahH0cqA 

Believe*

The Man Behind the Curtain

It is I! The Great and Powerful Oz!

I wish :) Love that classic.

Anyway...sorry about the no post for years. I went on a little escape to this guys house:

He went on Spring Break and kidnapped me for a week. This is a picture of him at a cute little diner near Fair Grove that we go to.

This is us making homemade brownies! Its a wee bit blurry but that's only because I was so excited about eating the brownies! Mama Byrd taught me how to make homemade icing that night

 and now I am a legit chef! 

Those brownies were so delish! 

There was none left by the end of the night!

We had a great week together but by the end of it I was more than ready to be back using my own shampoo and eating everything out of my own fridge.

Monday Wingman and I went on a five mile walk at a local trail. I strained my groin muscle which was AWFUL! Talk about epic whining. Don't worry guys I am back to health and back to working my booty for the beautiful weather we are getting lately.

This is Wingman and I after we survived the 5 mile walk. Mom later that night made me walk an extra 2 miles so this booty actually walked seven miles!

 In one day! 

Never before has this body experienced that.

Yesterday, was Tuesday. Every special Tuesday the Girls and I go out on the town and have a good time. 

Last night we went to this place that we nicknamed "Shanty Italian place."

I personally didn't care for the food but the company was AMAZING!

Madre met us at the Shanty Italian place and from there we had an adventure to Hobby Lobby.

It was a magical night.

I can not wait to be pushing Madre in a wheelchair in forty years

to the next Italian place we run away to and all us girls all wrinkled up!

Tuesday...always a good day :)

I am so sore from working out...getting sexy is hard work...sigghhh

but so worth it!

Wellll...I am off to Emerald City folks to send Dorthy back to that flat hill called Kansas :)

Hasta la vista!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSZxmZmBfnU 

Believe*

Love you like a love song

Lately I have felt the need to tell you about my Mr. Byrd.

This going to be a very gushy blog post so...you have been warned. (Mom, no whining!)

So we met almost eight months ago in a local pizzeria I was waitressing at. He had come to town with his baseball team for a tournament which made me get called to work. The minute I walked into that pizzeria I was hit with pick-up lines from every direction. And let me tell you,

he was the worst.

He gave me the ole, "Do your legs hurt? Because you've been running through my mind all day."

And the ole so classic, "Do you have map? Because I think I'm lost in your eyes."

It was cheesy.

Best part?

I dated his friend first :)

His friend (which turned out to be a REAL character;glad that didn't work out)

left me his number on a napkin and seemed really sweet. When we didn't work out, being scandalous me, I sought after Byrd. I just felt that I needed to know him.

We talked for awhile and on July 5, 2012, he asked me to be his gal!

Little over a month later, he helped me through the roughest time of my life. I was battling depression because I was forced to re-locate to a new home where I was more than welcome and loved but it was still difficult for me to say goodbye to my childhood home.

We battled through our first college semester together which was a very difficult obstacle for us. Trial after trial was thrown at us. Some we conquered; others we failed.

Now Byrd and I are in an amazing place. I see him on the weekends because I have no car so I have to find a way to meet him halfway through the help of friends. We spend the weekend together and then part ways for the week. I am without a phone right now as well though we still communicate quite well. 

Needless to say, I love the guy. His blue eyes, his quirky smile, his bad pick up lines. The way he can play with a child all day without complaining once. He usually makes me want to laugh and punch him all at the same time. 

He's my best friend.

He's my pain in the butt.

He's my boyfriend.

So gushy post is over now. You guys can stop throwing up and rolling your eyes :) 

Young love...so disgusting!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z59EVHU8MjI

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love Never Fails.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Believe*

Always have a Plan B..

Guess who is an Aunt!!

Just call me Aunt Weezy! 

(nickname from my asthma days. It's awful I know)

Isn't he just precious? He came off the assembly line on Sunday morning at 1:56 a.m.

He weighs 6lbs exactly. 6lbs of cuteness and just adorableness!!

And this is Byrd and I at the hospital begging cute Mr. Baby to come out because it is sooo

late at night!

So today was the first day of the Woman Challenge and Madre and I were pretty lazy about it.

Today was just a tiring day for the both of us :(

She had a long day with Sir Cuteness and Grandma at the doctors and I'm not feeling too awesome.

Buutttttt

we did get some awesome pictures.

Mine:

Today's challenge was to go for a walk and find something picture worthy. 

So this is the trail by my house and every time I walk there now it makes me said because these 

woods use to be full of trees

and nature and simple beauty and now there is barely anything left.

Picture worthy= remembering what use to be.

This was madre's picture of the day. I'm not quite sure why she thought this was picture worthy but oh who am I kidding? Just look at those muscles and don't even get me started on the face.

That's my "I work out because I'm sexy look."

:)

So all in all...an amazing weekend. 

One of my favorites in a while actually.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKSQjSdU8VA&ob=av2e

This is a song dedicated to the Lord..and how thankful I am that He lets me be "Free to Be Me."

:)

Love you all.

Believe*

Why not?

So I am pretty excited about this weekend.

Tomorrow one of my college suitemates is performing at a local coffee shop 

and of course I am going to go and support her. I'm thinking about making a defense sign...

These are my beautifully, awesome suite mates. We were at a masquerade so that is why we are all fancy and awesome in this picture. It is the only I have of all of us together :) The one with the silver mask is the one performing tomorrow.

Before the performance, I plan on grabbing some sushi with one of my most dearest friends.

He's pretty much the bee's knees. We walked together in graduation and he never fails to make me laugh. We shall call him BranMan.

Biggest news of the day though is...you might want to sit down. This is a lot to take in all in one moment.

Starting Monday, some girlfriends of mine and I are doing what I titled a "Woman's Challenge."

Everyday we will have a "challenge" to perform for thirty days.

I am pretty excited. I will keep you updated on the challenges and let you breathe in the awesomeness!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f6D0rOLfWs

This song is dedicated to a blessed weekend for everyone and lots of SUNSHINE!

Believe*

Materialistic and dumb..

Today was suppose to be amazing.

It was beautiful outside!

Like so beautiful you regret not shaving your legs all winter because you want to wear shorts beautiful.

Sooo...of course my expectations were very high today. 

I woke up at 9 this morning (to the surprise of my Madre)

to shake my sillies out with my favorite three year old in the whole world.

^This guy (Sir Cuteness) is awesome.

And mine so back off ladies.

So we went to the library where little kids danced and listened to books and played and when it was over we went back to the car and that is when the devastation happened.

Being a poor, slightly abandoned, independent gal, 

I have to sacrifice.

And one thing that a girl can NOT live without is makeup.

Thank goodness I still have that, right?

Second thing...a cell phone :(

That's right ladies...and gents.

This gal is currently without a phone.

When it hit me, for some reason I was depressed. Crying even.

And its not even the reason my phone was turned off.

It was the fact that I am so tired of feeling like a loser and old.

Old mentally...not physically ( no wrinkles for this chick yet. )

I have no car, no phone, and I still feel like I invaded a home.

Which is dumb, I know (don't yell at me, Madre. I know you love me. )

Most of those problems can be fixed by getting job; but what if I fail at that too.

Today has been so emotional for me. 

I keep thinking about past decisions and missing what could have been.

Which is not healthy I know and I would not be the person I am today; not nearly as strong and I would not have found God without going through all my challenges.

I just want to feel like I am worth something. 

I just want a hug...

which is something I usually run from.

The only thing stopping me from eating my feelings right now is

1. the kitchen is sooooo far away

2. everyone is asleep and I am very bad at being quiet

3. for some reason it is against Madre's morals to buy me JUNK food...I mean would it be awful for a chica to have a whole bag of pizza rolls and maybe a heart attack on the side?

I'm rambling...Good night or Good morning. Have pleasant dreams or may your day be sunny and full of laughter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8pQLtHTPaI&feature=youtu.be

Believe*

Classical music and Tears

Man, did I have an experience today. As you all know, this chica was saved this last Sunday so I am still fresh on the Word. I was just tired of being a mess and ignoring God's knock at my heart. That's it. I did not know any verse's and don't have a favorite chapter of the Bible because honestly I haven't read a single chapter of the Bible. I got saved on faith. I knew two things.

1. I love Jesus.

2. Jesus loves me.

So I started really cracking down on my knowledge today because it finally hit me that if anyone asked me why I believe what I do all I can really say is:

1. I love Jesus

2. Jesus loves me.

Because today I was told about the Holy Trinity and all I could reply with was, "huh?"

I had no idea. Now I know that the Holy Trinity is 

God the Father

God the Son

and God the Spirit.

BOOM! This girl studied and asked some questions :)

I am no longer going to be the girl that says, "huh?"

I am starting in John as I have heard it is the best place to get started. That is where my journey in the Bible begins.

Now you might be thinking where does classical music come in and these tears you speak of?

Well you perceptive one you, being a music lover I always have to have music. 

When I am studying the Word,

classical music feels the air. It calms me and I somehow feel more closer to what I am doing.

I always have a soar of emotions when classical music is around.

This is where the tears come in.

After my study, I prayed.

I can honestly tell you it was the most beautiful prayer that has ever left my lips.

A rush of emotion came over me and 

I suddenly knew everything was going to be alright.

In short, no more Netflix for this girl.

I have a new hobby :)

Its good to feel so...clean?

Clean from the dirt of negativity.

Clean from the confusion of what was right.

Clean...forever.

It is good to finally know the feeling of unconditional love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co1-GiL-pJA

Believer*